Picked up on the ITV circuit, these rules are a guide for all journalists editing ENG. But we thought that this print-out-and-stick-up guide has more than a hint of truth for every facilities house client.
1. Never start work first thing in the morning. Editors much prefer a terrific rush in the late afternoon.
2. Please smoke in the editing suites. It assists concentration.
3. Do not arrive with a clear concise plan of what you have shot or indeed what the finished item is about. It does spoil the element of surprise for the editor.
4. Please dash into editing, utter a number of incomprehensible thoughts on how you think the item should be cut and then dash somewhere secret where you cannot be found. This establishes your squatters right over the editing suit.
5. On the return to the editing suite start making telephone calls to your bookmaker, accountant, wife, girlfriend, mistress, live-in lover, boyfriend, sugar daddy, etc. Arrange for them to call you back as this all adds to your ability to concentrate on the job.
6. Make sure you tell the editor a title for you item which is different to the one down in the running order for the program.
7. If you must arrive with the cassettes in boxes make sure that nothing is written on the label that could possibly identify the content.
8 . Assist the editor by tweaking all the knobs on the equipment. Turning up the volume on the monitors is very beneficial to everybody in the vicinity.
9. Arrange for the producer to telephone every 30 seconds to enquire whether the item is finished. Even better if the producer can be convinced you are in another editing suite than the one you are really occupying.
10. If there is a need to extend or shorten the item, always insist this is done by redoing the voice-over in the middle of the item.
11. After demanding that an edit be redone, always insist that you prefer the original version.
12. Be utterly convinced beyond all doubt that your item is the only one in the program. Nothing else matters.
13. Remember the golden rule: "The later your item is, the better it will appear to the viewers".
14. Never consider the possibility that editors have a private life. They really do live on the premises.
15. Once you have finally vacated the editing suite, albeit very reluctantly, wait until its next client has started their piece and then surprise them all by dashing back into the suite and ask if you can check super times etc.
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