An Italian Director and Australian Cameraman were filming in a remote part of the Australian Outback. The Director suffered from deafness in one ear and, consequently, spoke Italian with some difficulty and English with even more difficulty. After wrapping a few shots, the Director wanted a shot of "the lens cap"
"But why, you'll just get black. Why not get the editor to cut in black later?"
"I told you, I wanna shot of the lens cap"
"OK. How long?"
"About 10 seconds"
Whereupon the Cameraman put on the lens cap and rolled, counting slowly to 10.
"Is that OK?" the Cameraman asked when he had finished.
"You did not pan"
"You want a pan?"
"Ya, you make a panoramic please"
"OK" The Cameraman rolled again, panning left to right, still with the lens cap in place. "OK?"
"Maybe. Maybe make a longer panoramic"
"Sure" - the Cameraman rolled yet again, this time panning more slowly.
"OK?"
"Well, maybe OK. How was it for you?" asked the Director.
The Cameraman, being a funny sort of fellow, replied "It was OK, maybe we should do one right to left - you know, panning the other way..."
"Good idea"
The Cameraman shot again, panning the other way. He even stopped half-way
"That's no good, I'll do it again" and he did.
"Happy?"
"Sure. If YOU are happy..."
The Cameraman was.
So they wrapped out of there and eventually got back to the studio. The Cameraman issued strict instructions to the lab and the Editors that on no account should any black footage be cut out of the rushes. At the rushes screening, all the shots looked lovely. Until the black footage.
"What's THIS?" asked the Director.
"That's the shot of the lens cap... remember? Heeere's the pan... now the slower pan.. then the..."
The Director jumped up.
"No no! This is all black!"
"I told you it would be..."
"But where is the panoramic of de lens cap; de trees, de mountains, de panoramic of the horizon?..."
delansscape??????
